Wishing Well

wishing well, originally uploaded by Jen!!.

Some things don't make any sense to me. Like myself (for instance). I'm a fairly logical person, which is to say that I like things that I can wrap my mind around. Like quantum mechanics (for a ridiculous example). On the other hand, I believe, or maybe just want to believe in things that are significantly less tangible. Like tossing a coin into a wishing well, wishing on the first star, knocking on wood, and, yes, reading my horoscope. I wouldn't say that I put great stock into any of these things and it amuses me that I partake in them at all. Like I said, it doesn't make sense to me. So when my son (8 yrs.) asked me the other day if ghosts are real, I went with a Santa Claus-ish response: I've never seen a ghost, but I believe in them. Why do I believe in them?! I don't get it. Was there a ghost on Fantasy Island or the Love Boat? That would tie this whole thing together nicely if I could blame it on influences from my youth.

Memories

Watching Ruby Dee win a SAG award last night brought back a lot of great memories for me. While I was working for the Ensemble Studio Theatre in New York, I had the most wonderful opportunity and experience, made possible by a great director and a fellow Brooklyn College student, Woodie King, Jr. Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis, in celebration of their 50th wedding anniversary, decided to host a gala party to celebrate and raise money for theatres in NY that had supported them early in their careers and/or ones that were supporting the careers of African-Americans. Beyond the great bodies of work produced by both Ruby and Ossie (um, that's Ms. Dee and Mr. Davis to me), what's the thing that caught my attention? Them. Married for 50 years. Wow. The partnership that was there. The love. This wasn't a couple who ribbed each other and "jokingly" complained about marriage. I really want to write more about what it all felt like and what it means to be and why it's significant, but it seems like I've talked about it elsewhere, and it's certainly something that I can express better in person than here.

So here's me with Ruby, Ossie and some of the most fantastic people working in theatre in NY in the 1990's.

Lake of the Woods

family, originally uploaded by Jen!!.

The problem I have (the only one, for sure), is that no matter where I go to find a private space for myself, I always end up thinking that, whatever place it is, it would be so much better if someone were there to share it with me.

Today I toyed with the idea of taking the kids swimming or ice skating. Clearly I ditched both of these ideas and instead took them out to a nearby forest preserve that I occasionally "get away" to. Behind us is a small pond, where last week I could look through the frozen ice and see the koi swimming around. The kids didn't get to see that today since there was a dusting of snow over the ice. Instead, the kids made snow angels, drew pictures of hearts in the snow, threw snowballs onto the pond, and had an all around great time.

Maybe this lack of a place that I can escape to isn't so much of a problem. I guess I'll have to whisk together another problem. (Which reminds me, I need to start prepping dinner.)

It's not Friday

The problem with holidays, and three day weekends in general, is that I get really confused about what day it is.

Thank you

So while I deal with the fly in the ointment, I want to thank all my friends. Thanks for listening, for sharing, for. . .well. . .for being a friend. You are all wonderful. So, now, off to that ointment thingee. Or dead fly on the fake flowers thingee. Whatever.

The sun is shining!

Okay, so it's still really cold out, but the sun is shining, the sky is blue and life is good. And I haven't gotten a gosh darn thing done today except for enjoying the little things. Nothing has gotten crossed off the to do list. I haven't even glanced at the to do list. All of it will have to wait.

Baby, it's cold outside

brrr, originally uploaded by Jen!!.

and it's feeling a little cold inside too

"Then in a moment my head starts spinning
Around in a circle no end or beginning
And just when I think that the whole world's turning
I open my eyes and discover that life is just
Burning down but this man stands his ground
For when there's nothing left I'll fight for every breath"

Crossing lines?

While we were on vacation we ended up eating three times at Benjamin's, a small local place. (If you're ever in Rockville, Indiana, they're on 36, on the left about 1/2 a mile past the courthouse while heading east. The parking lot is wickedly muddy after a snow thaw or 5 inches of rain, so be smart (not like me) and don't wear your good black leather boots.) The last time we ate there I took nine pictures of Sean with my camera phone. I don't know what possessed me to do such a thing.

What occurs to me now, with time to reflect on it, is this: since I have no idea why I did it, what was he thinking? "c'mon, cut that shit out already. I weary of you, wench." or maybe "sheesh. what's your emotional age? three?" or perhaps "wow, I can't believe that this totally hot woman wants so many pictures of little old me." Tee hee. I'd like to believe that it's the last one. (aside: I am quietly laughing to myself. I can't believe that I actually just typed that. Me. Hot. Totally hot. Ha ha ha.) But I fear that it's one of the first two.

HA

So upon returning today from a few days of vacation in the covered bridge capital of the world, also known as Parke County, Indiana, what's the first thing I shoulda done? Take a nap, of course. Oh wait. That's not it. That's just the first thing that I actually did. I didn't need a nap. At least I don't think I needed a nap. But I'm on vacation, you see, so I did it anyway. Then I did uploaded all the pictures. I didn't share this one on flickr. I can't stand my hair in the picture (it was humid, not my usual shampoo, blah blah whine bitch moan), but I LOVE Sean's Superman pose. I can hear the theme music now, can't you?