cooking is fun!

I'm really not certain why I chose to make chili on a hot day--I think maybe I just wanted to have a beer, and since half the bottle goes into the chili, what better excuse?! I used the summer Blue Moon--which has honey and orange peel brewed in (or something like that). It was good--to drink and to cook with. I added chick peas into the chili. Why not regular beans? Dunno. They're all good for you. The chick peas turned out well and the chili was super yummy. I haven't been cooking from scratch much recently and it felt really good last night to do it.

New York

I can't say that it felt like going home. Illinois is home. It did, however, feel extraordinarily comfortable. It felt like going to a second home, I guess. I didn't really have enough time to do all of the things I wanted--Chinatown, the Village, etc., but I did make it to Central Park. I relaxed in the shade and watched the world go by--one of most very favorite NY pastimes.

Our for a walk

I was out, walking and chatting, and watching the sidewalk and saw two round spots (old gum?) and a twig and it looked like a little face half-grinning at me. I was going to keep walking then asked if I could stop and go back a few steps to take a quick picture. Here 'tis:I am easily amused.

It's really not all about me

But sometimes I like the pix I get, and sometimes the reasons why I like them are not the ones that you might think. Like this picture, for instance:It's not just me (although, I do actually like the way I look in this shot), I like that you can see just how bare the office is. Three of us share an office. I am the local office freak. The one with all the colorful shit up all over her tiny work spot. In this picture, you can see one of favorite pieces of art: the Yoda that Jasper colored for me. And, contrary to what he might have seen in the movies, Yoda DOES NOT die. Yoda ROCKS THE FORCE! Anyhow, back to the whole office freak thing. I actually took down several pieces of colorful artwork as I felt like I was monopolizing all the use of color in an otherwise drab area. (But we do have windows now, which has made such a difference. Did you know that the sun shines, at least a little even if it just a glare, every single day? I didn't know that!) Now I keep most of my cool stuff in spots where you have to be in my space to be able to see it.

Not Girlfriend Material

The tank top isn't meant so much to pass judgment on myself (although I do feel, um, how can I express it? "un-dateable" recently. Not that I'm not worthy, just that I'm not getting that vibe from anyone. But I have always been really slow to pick up on that vibe, so who knows.), it's more my own state of mind. I'm not ready to be girlfriend material to anyone. Or, again, maybe I just haven't met that special someone yet. Or, what if I have met him and I don't know it yet? I can't say this strongly enough--I have always been slow in picking up on these things, or maybe just really slow in believing that someone might really like me. Me?! Little ole me?

Sunshine

He had early dismissal in the middle of last week, so we got to play a little bit. He's my sunshine (or is that sonshine?). Whatever. He's wonderful. It's hard to believe that he's 7 years old. No one tells you when you have kids that it's a balance of letting go and guiding toward goodness at the same time. He wins. He's awesome. It's not easy, this parenthood thing. And if you get a child that has special needs or a disability or anything out of the ordinary, it's an extra challenge. And I'm thankful for it. He's a joy and a great child and I'm proud to say that I'm his mom. How do some moms make it look so easy? For me it's so much work. Not in a bad way. Or are other people struggling silently and I just don't know?

howling

I woke up in the middle of the night a few nights ago and saw a light shining into my bathroom. Lo and behold, it was this. . .So, of course, I had to grab the camera to get a few shots of it. The title of this entry is howling, which is kind of what I feel like doing right now. Howl at this moon.